Dear you,

Thank you for saying yes. It took all the guts in the world to ask you on a date. I'm so excited! And I even get to see you tomorrow. It'll mark the first time I've really ever seen you outside of school. I'm about to go crash so it will come sooner. And I had to work today, which is cool 'cause my job gives me confidence in myself. That will most definitely help =)

Like,
Me

37. Meet someone I admire

I met Dame Evelyn Glennie in February. She's an awesome percussionist.

dear you,
i'm bleeding, and you say i'm heartless, but i'm yours.
quit making promises that you know you'll break.
keep your word.
i know you're hurting. i see it, i FEEL it for you. i want you to let me IN. i want to save you.
please.
but do not take your pain out on me. i'm strong, i'm thick skinned, but i can't take this every day. i will not run after you. i will not chase you. i know that's what you want. the second you ask me for help, i'll be there. so just ask. just ask.
i love you and see so much potential in you.
i just want you to get better, my love.

-kelsey

Title: A Hiding Place
Day/Theme: May 17th / Did I dream this belief, or did I believe this dream?
Series: Vision of Escaflowne
Character/Pairing: Hitomi/Van
Rating: G
Warnings: MEGA SERIES SPOILER WARNING!

( Every few years Hitomi dreamed of Guymelefs, of the world on fire and Escaflowne tearing through the sky with war on its wings. )

dear world,
i really don't suggest falling asleep next to a pool, waking up 45 minutes later to determine that your stomach is hot and that a great solution would be to turn over and fall back asleep.

OOWWWWWWW!

i'm dumb, i know. oh well.


dear boyfriend,
you got commissioned yesterday and you graduated today - i'm so proud your mine! :) i'm dreading may 31st though. i can't express how much i'm going to miss you. i'll be able to see you once a month through november (unless i miraculously come across a lot of money that i can spend on travel...) and then you're off to iraq. i know you've always dreamt of a military career and now it is upon you. no matter how frustrated or upset i get, know that i love you and will always support you.

<33333

Dear Self,
Look okay, you're 14. You're not gonna have so much a life yet.
Stop wishing you had one, stop wishing anything, even something bad, would happen to you. If you wish for it, it just might come.
You'll get your adventurous, individual life when it's due time for it okay?
Stop asking for so much when you already have all that you need.
This whole thing with Levi is done, stop trying to make yourself be depressed. If you need to be depressed, you would be.
Alright?
You'll get what you deserve when you're ready.
You're not ready yet.

Love,
Your other, logical, half.

dear michael james bode,

so seeing you today totally confirmed how big of an idiot I was to have dated you.
Travis is 1,000,000,000,000 times better than you in more than 345453654654 ways.
Your hair is down to your shoulders, longer than mine even, and you look...well, gross.
Jenn called you a twit and disgusting and she's right. You are.

To think.
I wasted so many tears. so many calls. so many thoughts, actions and feelings on you just to have you look like that and have you treat me like you did.

The last words that you said to me were "fuck you" and then today you looked completely ashamed when you looked at me. you took a double-take because you didn't recognize me. Yep. That's right. I have changed.

For the better. Whether you believe me or not.

dear Travis,

you are adorable, my little cuddle monsta. =*

Book #41 -- Gregory Maguire, Wicked, 406 pages.

This was a very good novel (albeit very different from the musical, and much darker). I loved Elphaba, and hated knowing what was going to happen to her. Although there were a lot of loose ends and questions never answered but I heard he wrote a sequel, so I guess I'll just have to read that. And I'm looking forward to reading his revisionist fairy tales.

Progress toward goals: 138/366 = 37.7%

Books: 41/150 = 27.3%

Pages: 11922/50000 = 23.8%

2008 Book List

cross-posted to 15000pages, 50bookchallenge, and gwynraven

I'm sorry. 

I know I'm not as faithful and as pious as some of the others. I dont go to church, and I criticize the church, and I've gone through times where I haven't believed in you at all. Even though I believe in you now, I tell people that I dont know if you exist, when they ask, and I dont apologize for my sins all the time, and I sin every day. 

But I still love you, even if I dont show it often. 

And I hope that you love me too, even though I dont deserve it. I've done some horrible things, only you and I know about. I still do horrible things. But I dont want to, and I wish you would help me, but you've already helped me enough in my life.

The day I was a lost  five year old who got off the late bus at the wrong stop. 
The day I was a 3 year old and I almost got abducted by a child predator.
The two weeks I had meningitis and somehow didn't die even though it was severe. 
When I spun out while driving to work. 

I've had a lot of near death or near horrible experiences, but none of them panned out to be the worst case scenario. 

The only one I can think of to thank for that, is you. I feel like there's a reason you took a special liking to me when I was younger. I feel like there was a reason that I had dreams about you.

I just wish I knew what that reason was, and that I deserved your belief in ME. 

I really dont know what I'm doing in this letter. I dont know how it works between you and me. I dont talk to you often, just sometimes on particularly bad nights, or when I offhandedly ask you to watch out for my family. 

I dont really know what I'm writing to you for. I dont know if I'm doing any of this right.  
I just feel the need to reach out to you right now. 

I know better than to make promises I can't keep. So I'm just going to say that I'm sorry, and I love you, and everything you've ever given me. 

Yours,
Kerri

Love,

Run away with me. We can sail around the world and float and raise our kids to be multi-lingual and multi-cultural to match their mismatched parents. I don't want to settle down, I don't want a house or a car or a job or a mortgage or bills. I just want to travel the world with you, carrying our lives on our backs and in each others' hands, never seeing the same person twice. Only each other. Elope with me tomorrow.

Book 13: P.S. I Love You by Cecilia Ahern. I loved this book. It was very touching, sad, and yet had it's funny moments, too. I did end up seeing hte movie last weekend and I can honetsly say, I like the book much better. The antics that the characters got up to in the book were great, even in the middle of the sadness that comes with dealing with becoming a widow and losing a loved one.

Book 14: In a Heartbeat by Sally John. I think I found myself a new favorite author. :) This book was about Rachel Koski, a fireman's wife. The way the story weaves together is just amazing. There was something rather horrible that happened, and I cried when it happened. I can't remember the last time I cried while reading a book. I was that involved in it. The way she writes just touches me deeply and makes me connect to a place in my life that I haven't really connected with. I'm looking forward to the next book I have by her.

Title: Order In The Court: Part XVIII
Day/Theme: 18. Many are the dead men, too silent to be real
Series: Bleach / Phoenix Wright
Character/Pairing: Defense
Rating: G

( Order In The Court: Part XVIII )

---

Compilation Order in the Court post.

 FROSTBITE by Richelle Mead (2nd Vampire Academy novel)

This is a YA (young adult) series with a different take on vampires.  Most of the vampire race call themselves the Moroi.  Among the Moroi are 12 royal houses containing the oldest bloodlines.  For the most part these vampires do not fight and they won't even use their magic to defend themselves.  This is where the dhampirs like Rose, our main character, come in.  Dhampirs have a pretty rough life from what I've read so far.  You can either become a guardian and die young saving a moroi or if you're female you can become a whore and have little dhampir babies by sleeping with moroi men.

What are the guardians guarding against?  The strigoi make up the other part of the vampire race and will attack human, moroi, or guardian and drain them dry if they can.  The strigoi kill every time they feed and anyone they drain will turn into a strigoi.  They can live forever as long as they can feed, but they have lost most of who they were, running on almost pure animal instinct.

In this book we find Rose still training to be a guardian and with her mentor's help she has almost caught up with the rest of her class despite the two years she spent out in the human world with Lissa, a moroi princess and Rose's best friend.  When Rose is taken for her guardian test by her mentor they are met by the aftermath of a strigoi attack and soon the Moroi are up in arms over strigoi attacking in bigger numbers than ever before.  While all this is going on Rose and her mentor, Dimitri, are still reeling from the lust spell that was put on them in "Vampire Academy".

Highly recommended for urban fantasy fans, especially those that love their vampire series.

FROM DEAD TO WORSE by Charlaine Harris (Southern Vampire Mysteries series book 8)

If you're looking for a heroine that seems a little more real than those loaded down with guns and knives 24 hours a day try this series.  Sookie Stackhouse lives in an average little town and waitresses down at Merlott's Bar for far less than she's worth just like everyone else.  The only real "different" thing about her that most people don't know or refuse to believe is that she's telepathic.  Ever since the end of the first book she's been a sort of consultant for the vampires.  What does she get out of it?  She of course gets paid for her services, but she also gets the chance to be around people who don't treat her like she's crazy and since she can't read vampire brains she gets some peace and quiet.  Oh yea, she also gets dragged into every turf war the vampires and werewolves have.  So much for the peace and quiet.

It seemed to me that the last book turned a bit darker towards the end, but I'd have to say that this book is the darkest so far.  I don't really mind, but when the first six and a half books could almost be shelved under chick lit you tend to notice these things.  There's a lot going on in this book which is a little different than the other books too.  The things that stuck out most to me were that Sookie is definitely over Alcide now and she can no longer turn a blind eye to how much of an asshole her brother is.  Sookie also meets two new family members in this book and both of them are big surprises.  Oh, and there's also a big surprise in store for the whole Louisiana territory in this book so get ready!

Excellent series, highly recommended for just about everyone.

2008:  30/100

This week I was not supposed to read fiction at all - that's the end of the term at my university. I mean Mssrs Pathoanatomy, Pharmacology with a number of junior partners were trying hard to suck life out of me. I was supposed to be buried under textbooks and prints. But the decision was to rebel and to read something not very intelligent, nice and making me relax. By chance I found several 'romantic' e-books and a program to convert them into java. So...

#2 Максимилиана Моррель "Код любви"
(supposedly Maximilienne (or Maximiliana, can't found the Latin variant of her name) Morrel 'The Love code'
Genre: romance (with vampires)
Rating: 7/10
I read this one, as well as the others, in Russian translation. But I couldn't find any trace of this one in the English-language net. However, the book was doubtlessly originally written in English and by an American. I know that the editors often strikingly change the titles when a translation of mediocre romance is published, probably they also change the author's name?
( My thoughts with possible spoilers )

#3 'Secret Vampire' by Lisa Jane Smith
(read actually as Лиза Джейн Смит, "Тайный вампир" ;-)
Genre: romance, vampires
Rating: 3/10
( My angry thoughts )

#4 'Dark Angel' by Lisa Jane Smith
(again read actually as Лиза Джейн Смит, "Темный ангел";)
Genre: romance, supernatural
Rating: 7/10
Yes, I am really happy that after being that disappointed by the previous one, I still took another from Night World series.
( My thoughts with as few spoilers as I tried )

#5 'Phantom in Time' by Eugenia Riley
(or Юджиния Райли, "Позови меня, любовь" - 'Call me, my Love', if we translate it back;)
Genre: romance, historical romance
Rating: 9/10
Annotation at the author's site:
He is the ghostly tenor who haunts an old opera house. She is a modern soprano who hears his glorious voice. His passion draws her back in time to meet him as a real man. But will she be able to share his love and save him from a murderer? Or will he forever become her phantom in time?
( My enthusiastic thoughts and several spoilers )

#6 'Mistress of Mellyn' by Victoria Holt
(or Виктория Холт, "Госпожа замка Меллин")
Genre: historical romance
Rating: 8/10
Plot summaries (spoilerless) from http://www.allreaders.com:
"Martha Leigh falls on hard times and is forced to get a job. She gets a position as a governess for the spoiled daughter of Connan TreMellyn. She hears all sorts of gossip about the family and determines to discover whether or not it's true. A very intriguing story."
Laura J. Miller, Resident Scholar

"A young Victorian woman in England finds a job as a governess for a young girl in Cornwall, England. She enters service in a castle near the sea and within those walls, she finds mysteries she ends up solving and finds love at the end, too!"
Debbie, Resident Scholar

What do I think myself? Really nice. A good example of contemporary historical romance. I can advise it.

#7 Надежда Первухина, "Имя для ведьмы"
(Nadezhda Pervukhina, 'A Name for a Witch')
Genre: urban fantasy, humorous fantasy
Rating: 7/10
I picked this book at my favourite library (the one offering the largest collection of newest published popular books, as well as the old ones, surely) quite recently and read it in one sitting. A bit too 'witchy' for the Christian in me, but written nicely and with a great sense of humour (for example, the heroine's lover is a parody of a well-known Russian author of humorous fantasy... And her mother, possessing not a drop of magic, has much power against the bad guys because she is a lieutenant colonel in tax police). If you read in Russian, this e-book can be got in the net. Still, if you read in Russian, there many other books I'd advise you.

#8 Сергей и Марина Дяченко, "Алена и Аспирин"
(Marina and Sergey Dyachenko, 'Alena and Aspirin')
Genre: urban fantasy, supernatural
Rating: 8/10
I fortunately discovered a wiki article about this couple (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marina_and_Sergey_Dyachenko ). That made me very glad: I don't need to write this myself! So I'd just say a couple of words. They are spouses and the story of their life (up to today) could make a romance novel. They are among my favourite authors. Their books aren't primitive fantasy, but are deeply symbolic, make the reader think a lot. There are also very touching romances in their books (however, not in all of them, and not in this one).
As for the book itself... Not their best one, I think. I've described it's genre it as urban fantasy, but it's rather psychological - and magical realism. Anyway, I liked 'The Ritual', 'Witch's Age', 'The Cave' and 'Magicians can do anything' MUCH more.

8 / 100 books. 8% done!

 almost halfway there! and my reading rate will go waaay up once summer hits.

13. The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck -- As I had only a week to read this for school, I didn't get much time to absorb it, but I enjoyed it and plan on reading it again. The story of migrant workers searching for work during the Great Depression. 4/5
14. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck -- Also for school, also centered around migrant workers in the thirties; about five hundred pages shorter. Didn't like this one as much. 2/5
15. The Heart is A Lonely Hunter, Carson McCullers -- Again, for school, this one is about a small mill town (again, in the thirties; we were doing the Great Depression in American Studies) and centers around a deaf man named John Singer, the town's perception of him, and the aquaintances he forms along the way. There's Mick Kelly, a young girl, Dr. Copeland, an idealistic African-American doctor, Jake Blount, an alcoholic Communist, and Biff Brannon, a bar owner. Very, very well written; the prose switches perspectives to all five main characters and McCullers crafts each point of view to perfection. 5/5
16. Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut -- This one is fairly well-known, WWII vet Billy Pilgrim becomes unstuck in time. I need to reread this one again, as I doubt I managed to catch everything first time around. I enjoyed it, though. 3/5
17. Pardon My French, Cathy Hapka -- During April break, my reward to myself was a large stack of crappy chick lit, thus the next couple of books. This one in particular was bland, boring, and more predictable than usual. 1/5
18. Guitar Girl, Sarra Manning -- I don't reallly remember this one; the plot was some trite trash about a girl band's fame, rise and fall of. All the characters were extremely unlikable. 1/5
19. Girl, Nearly 16, Absolute Torture, Sue Limb -- This one was actually quite good. It was about a girl forced on a road trip with her family, which is your usual fare -- but the characters were cute and endearing, which makes or breaks predictable YA fictoin. 3/5
20. The Crucible, Arthur Miller -- Another one I read for school, I really enjoyed this dramatization of the Salem Witch Trials. 4/5
21. The Things They Carried, Tim O'Brien -- Also for school; easily the best book I've read all year. It's about a man's experience in Vietnam, and grapples with the heavy concept of reality vs. truth in an equally humorous and heartbreaking way. So, SO good. If you read any book out of my first 23, read this one. 5/5
22. An Abundance Of Katherines, John Green -- The story of Colin Singleton, former child prodigy, who goes on a road trip with his best friend Hassan, an overweight Arab who loves Judge Judy, to get over his recent break-up. He's dated 21 Katherines in his life, and he attempts to find a mathematical formula to calculate the eventual success or failure of romantic relationships. I loved this one, I finished in in twenty-four hours. All the characters are so layered and hysterical and John's voice is very much present, but doesn't overpower the work. Loved it. 5/5
23. 13 Little Blue Envelopes, Maureen Johnson -- This one disappointed me a bit. The plot sounds really promising, about a girl who's recently deceased aunt sends her on a journey through Europe, via 13 little blue envelopes to be opened one at a time. The characters were kind of flat, however, and it lacked the charm of some of her other books, like The Bermudez Triangle, which I adored. 2/5

I miss the days when my friend didn't scare me.

 15. Life on the Mississippi by Mark Twain
 16. The Collection by Bentley Little
 17. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie

A trio of enjoyable books are these.  I have posted about several Twains that I have read for the Challenge.  Life on the Mississippi is autobiographical, the story of Samuel Clemens' life as a riverboat pilot.  In typical Twain style, he turns his lessons in piloting into wonderful anecdotes, never failing to find and capitalize on the humor in the tale.  He tells his own story, as well as stories about the river and its colorful inhabitants.  If you ever wondered how Clemens picked "Mark Twain" as his nom de plume, you'll find out in Life on the Mississippi.

The Collection is (duh) a collection of horror short stories.  This was the May read for my horror group and I was not terribly enthusiastic about it as I usually do not like short stories.  I have to say that this book is one of the BEST collections of stories I have ever read.  They were all equally riveting and most disturbing.  For example... you may already know that some "history" as we learned it is manufactured.  (George Washington and the proverbial cherry tree is a perfect example)  Now imagine discovering proof that our founding fathers were not what we thought they were and further realizing that your knowledge (which certain factions have gone to great lengths to erase from history altogether) may mean your death.  Or how about going on a nice vacation with the family and stumbling upon one of those "historical" roadside attractions that tells you about the area, exploring a cabin and reading on the nice little plaque outside that everything in and of the cabin is made from human skin.  Maybe a carnival run-in with a dwarf carny who demands "Gimme a quarter" and hounds you throughout your life when you refuse.   A few of the people in my group found some of the stories amusing.  I found them to be more like the car wreck you can't turn away from.  But on second thought, there was one that made me giggle... imagine the new president moving into the White House and finding out that he is merely a puppet and that the country is still under the thumb of the British crown.  And I can't forget the tale of the Office War, where the narrator's department takes out Accounting in a lightning fast but bloody coup... but then has to deal with Maintenance.  I can go on and on so I won't.  All I will say is READ THIS BOOK.  

I tried to read The Murder of Roger Ackroyd once before.  I don't think I made it past page 30 before I pitched it.  When a friend found out, she scolded me and insisted that I try again.  I told her that probably would not happen but that if she wanted to tell me why I should make a second attempt, have at it.  She simply told me the identity of the murderer.  I didn't think another thing about it until the book surfaced on my mystery group list. Although I didn't like it the first time, being able to read from an omniscient perspective turned this book into (for me) the brilliance that is Agatha Christie.  I picked up on all sorts of clues that she drops along the way and enjoyed the way that Hercule Poirot sussed out the mystery "using his little grey cells."  I am looking forward to reading more Christie... this time without prior knowledge of the murderer. 

Book 16 was:
Notes from the Underbelly
By Risa Green

Here's what Barnes and Noble says:
As a guidance counselor at an elite, Bel Air high school, Lara Stone is definitely not ready to have any spoiled, bratty kids of her own. At least not now, when she has finally managed to Tae-Bo and low-carb herself down to a perfect size four. But her husband has different ideas, and they include fatherhood. Now.

Suddenly, Lara finds herself deep within the underbelly of pregnancy, as a cranky, non-glowing mother-to-be dealing with uncontrollable crying jags, inexplicable weight gain, and scary hemorrhoids. And her mood doesn't improve when she's given the task of getting one of her students-the punk, outcast daughter of a famous movie director-into a highly competitive college.

Expecting is nothing like Lara ever expected.

And my thoughts:
I picked up this book because I had been enjoying the ABC series that was based on it (grrr, on ABC for canceling it!). This book is the perfect kind for me to read; light, quick, funny, easy to pick up and put down while at work on or the subway. I enjoyed reading it, although the more realistic than normal picture of pregnancy was a little frightening, and am planning to pick up the sequel next.

16 / 50 books. 32% done!